yes, you know that feeling…that extra bit of chocolate, ‘just‘ one more glass of wine, that one more bump of ketamine (ha!)…you know you want them and yet, you know you’re gonna pay for it next day in some way.
Does it stop you from doing it? Of course not!
The thing is…there are some things that might be bad for you but they’re not THAT bad and you can deal with it.
Problem I have is that the thing that I know is bad for me, is REALLY bad for me but it doesn’t stop me wanting it.
What is this thing?
There I’ve said it…I love bareback sex. There is no feeling like it in the world and anyone who says otherwise, has never had bareback sex.
Now as a gay man, I know we all supposedly know the risks but when you’ve experienced something that feels THAT amazing, all concern/thoughts/worries/panic disappears as you succumb to the intensity and explosion of emotions and sensations when you fuck raw.
[Sorry, there’s no other way to describe it]
And yet, I now know from personal experience that it can be devastatingly bad.
Earlier this year, I was diagnosed as HIV positive.
Am I still coming to terms with that news? Probably.
Was it a huge shock? Honestly, not really.
Lesson learnt? Nope.
I crave it, dream of it, want it constantly…
When I watch porn, I only seem to get off to bareback stuff.
Does that mean I now only fuck bareback? no.
I’m now in a relationship with an HIV negative guy – we fuck with condoms, I love sex with him.
Do I wish it was bareback? God yes…would do anything for his beautiful cock raw in me and unloading his cum deep inside my ass.
As I said, I crave raw sex and know he would love that too but we don’t because as much as it feels soooooooooooooooooooooo good, it would be sooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad.
But I can’t stop thinking about this:
Please will someone do this to me?!