And the winner is…(part 2!)

The best snowman on the street!

Who is more the cold fish…the snowman or Stella?!

And the winner is…

(Look away now if you don’t want to know!!!!)

Yep…it is the ‘cold’ Stella.

It’ll be interesting to see how she fares…personally, don’t think she’ll last long.

I say this as someone who has worked with him… I give it nine months, she’ll get bored.

well…hello…

wow…can’t believe it’s been so long.

where has the time gone?!

But I am back!

Lots been going on…most of it shit to be honest but not going to vent on it just yet.

Instead, here are some pictures of the snow that’s hit London in the past few days!

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New poll – does HIV status change opinions?

Following the success of my last poll (on Mason Wyler’s outing of his HIV status), I’ve decided to do a follow up.

when's the right time to discuss HIV? Now...?

It is posted on the right hand side of my blog….that’s right, over on that side there ——–>

The poll actually relates to the other story I mentioned when discussing Mason’s status.

The pop star was arrested and put on trial for infecting her partners as she hadn’t told them her status.

Now, let me be clear – I am not condoning her behaviour at all.

However, I’m interested in the thought process of those that are HIV positive and what might stop them from telling potential sexual partners their status.

So the poll asks whether knowing someone’s HIV status would change your mind on whether you’d have sex with them?

It’s a discussion that all adults should have but I’m pretty sure that most people would rather be blissfully ignorant rather than discuss it just before having sex.

My own experience has been pretty interesting but I’ll tell those stories once the results are in.

The poll will be up for seven days.

So get voting!

A year later and yet only 3 months on…

Happy Anniversary

OK…so it’s more than three months since I was diagnosed as HIV positive and it’s clear that it’s about 12 months since I was infected but today was my ‘three month check up’ with my consultant since my first proper appointment where I found out my CD4 count and my viral load.

So it is an anniversary of sorts…

So what’s changed in those three months?

Honestly, not a lot.

My CD4 count (which was pretty good first time round) has dipped a bit but nothing major. My viral load is still decreasing, which is also good and apparently, there’s no need to put me on any meds yet.

This is all good – apparently.

And yet, a year on from infection – how come I feel like I’m not doing enough to fight this deadly virus in my body? This thing that is killing me is doing whatever it is doing and yet, I’m still living life as if nothing has changed.

Clearly it has – and will never be reversed. Part of me wants to do everything physically, emotionally and mentally (sometimes even spiritually) to fight this fucking disease and make it all go away.

Just give me the fucking pills and make it all better.

But it don’t work like that – that’s the sick thing about it all. It is new to me but I’ve got to just carry on and when the time comes, it comes.

Over the past year, I’ve learnt a new phrase and it’s become my motto:

“it is what it is”

When I first heard it, I thought it was a pretty damn lazy thing to say and negated the person’s responsibility for the situation.

However, through time I’ve realised that is neither of those things – at the heart of it, is the acceptance of what is happening or has happened.

It doesn’t stop responsibility for the individuals involved, it doesn’t stop you from doing anything about the situation but from a place of quiet acceptance (or ‘calm’), you then have the power and/or determination to get on with the situation and do the best you possibly can do.

Life goes on.

In the three months since that first meeting with the consultant, that is exactly what I have found. Acceptance of the situation – determination to do everything in my power to fight it but also not to fret or worry about the things I can’t do.

In the meantime, live my life – experience everything I was going to do before and share my life with those who are the most important in my life.

So happy anniversary – may there be many more for all of us.

Freaky…but proud!

Yes, I’m coming back to this.

Anyway, even though I’ve been away for quite a while – there’s still quite a few people looking at the blog every day which is fantastic.

(I promise I’ll do better at keeping up with posts!)

Anyway, looking through the stats of how many hits and where people are coming from, there was a weird referring link today….Facebook!

First, I freaked that I had put something on my facebook profile that I didn’t remember…ummm, no.

So I clicked on the link…it opened on the page you get saying that you’re just about to leave Facebook and do you trust the link, blah blah…so it doesn’t tell me where it came from.

DAMN!

I’m now not worried, just intrigued who is referring people to my blog from Facebook and why. If anyone can explain, I’d love to know.

It’s amazing where things that I arrive end up.

Kinda proud but definitely intrigued!

Worst vacation EVAH!

You know that feeling when expectations are SO high? Well in hindsight, that’s what I went on vacation with. Probably my biggest mistake of the whole trip.

A painful one and seems to be terminal when it comes to my relationship.

Lesson learnt I guess.

Still gotta say that it was the worst vacation EVAH.

Will post more in coming days when I’ve digested more and can work out the lessons…